When I first started going to bars and clubs to approach women, it was a trainwreck.
When I say trainwreck, I mean, I would approach a girl, use my canned line (something like, “Who lies more, men or women.”)
I wouldn’t be able to hold eye contact, I would be visibly nervous, and girls would reply with a look of disgust.
In my first year of going to bars and clubs, I got lucky and ended up going home with 2 or 3 girls out of 1000 approaches.
That’s right; my approach to close ratio was about three out of a thousand. It was terrible. I was as bad as you could possibly be.
But, in the last nine years, I’ve gotten to a point where now, on average, if I approach 20 girls on a night out, I’ll get five attractive women’s phone numbers, and I’ll end up pulling a girl once out of every two nights that I go out.
The gap between where I started and where I am now is massive, and in this article, I’m going to explain the one concept that helped me transition from someone who got laid once in a blue moon out of pure luck, to someone who can consistently get the kinds of results that I want in dating.
How To Get Laid
Part 1: Captain Cringe
When I was new to going to bars and clubs, you could have called me captain cringe.
My wingmen were cringey as well. It was a clown show.
But, one night, I ran into a British guy who was very charismatic and skilled with women. I saw what he did; I observed how he went about going out and approaching women.
Every night he would get multiple girl’s numbers, he would pull girls regularly (hot girls, by the way). So I thought, “What is the difference between this charismatic guy who is killing it, and myself, this cringey guy, who sucks?
It turns out; he did something that the vast majority of guys who learn about game don’t do.
It sounds very simple, but if you start doing this, it makes a world of difference: it will trigger a night and day change in the kinds of results you get.
Here’s what he did:
He would go out and approach a girl, have fun, laugh, tell some jokes – he would talk to girls he wasn’t even attracted to. But he would approach girls constantly without hesitation.
He wouldn’t spend more than a couple of minutes outside an interaction.
After doing approaches, he would come back to his friends and shoot the shit for a bit, but for the most part, he would just approach a girl, leave the interaction, see another a girl and approach her, etc.
I noticed that he would get into this state, an outgoing, expressive, charismatic state where everyone was magnetically drawn to him.
It got to the point where when we would walk between clubs he had fangirls who would follow him, and some of these girls were attractive (they were the kind of girls I wished I was getting), but to him, they were below him, “I don’t know why these girls keep following me, it’s kind of annoying.”
In contrast, when I went out here’s what I did:
I would spend about 15 minutes building up the courage to approach a girl. And the first approach would usually be pretty awkward. Then, I would get upset and go back to think about what happened,
“Why do I suck?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Does game really work?”
Every time I approached a girl, my mood would get worse. I would wait 10, 20, even 30 minutes before mustering up the courage to do another approach. Then, that approach would also go poorly, and my state throughout the course of the night would slowly go down.
Once I realized the difference between my wingman and me, I tried implementing his strategy.
I went out one night with the agenda of doing a lot of approaches without hesitation.
By the end of the night, girls were starting to tell me things like, “You’re really charismatic,” “You’re hilarious,” etc.
I was getting compliments that I had never gotten in my life before. I entered a state of total confidence.
I repeatedly practiced this method of approaching a lot without taking much time between approaches, and I realized that I was pulling hot girls consistently because:
A. I would end up getting into a state the felt like entering god mode in which attracting women was effortless.
B. Throughout the course of a night, I would meet 20 or 30 women instead of 5 to 10. By rolling the dice more, it was more likely I would meet a girl I had natural chemistry with.
The concept of approaching a lot of women and getting into a good state is known as building social momentum.
You might have heard of this concept, but it doesn’t get talked about a lot anymore.
That’s unfortunate because social momentum is incredibly powerful. You reach a point where you don’t care what people think about you, you have no negative thoughts about yourself or others, and you’re completely in the zone.
It’s almost like you’re watching yourself from a third-person perspective. You realize you’re doing and saying things you could never do in a normal state. You’ll think, “How did I become so confident, how am I so bold and unrestrained?”
It’s an amazing feeling; I’d even say a lot of times, getting into god mode is more rewarding than sleeping with a beautiful girl. That state is addictive; it’s like a drug. The best part is that you can get into god mode consistently if you take the right action steps.
The most important part of that is to spend less time between your interactions. When you go out don’t spend 30 minutes between approach, try spending less than two minutes between each approach and see what happens by the end do the night.
If you do this a few times, your perspective of what game is and what you are capable of and the kinds of results you should be expecting will completely shift. It will completely change everything.
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