Desscription of The Occurring
What On Earth Does “Occurring” Mean?
Occurring is how life appears to you in any given moment. It’s the result of the meaning you’re giving reality right now. Yes, even now as you read this page you’re giving it meaning. Let me explain. “Reality” is what you just read. Period.
It may be occurring for you, however, as “I wonder what Morty has in store for me now,” as a possible exciting opportunity, or as “Why did Morty send out another email? I don’t really have time to read it.” The problem is you think how you feel about what I’ve written is an accurate description of what I’ve written. It isn’t. What I’ve written and how it occurs for you are two totally different things and most of us never make a distinction between the two.
This occurring is happening whether you’re feeling good or bad. If your friend just yelled at you, it may occur to you that this person doesn’t mean what he says because he’s having a bad day, or he could occur to you as a jerk.
If you’ve been invited someplace, the invitation could occur to you as a great opportunity or as an obligation you have to fulfill.
As you can see, the same reality can occur for us in many different ways.
Because we usually don’t distinguish between reality and how it occurs for us, we think the meaning we are giving reality is the same as reality. It isn’t.
And because they aren’t the same we can change the meaning so that the same reality has a positive, negative or neutral occurring for us. We actually can learn to choose how reality occurs for us. Which would result in us creating different behavior, different emotions, and a totally different experience of life,.
But the question is …
“How Do You Master Occurring For Yourself?”
How do you determine how an event occurs for you so you can live a more empowered life when our occurring just seems to happen?
I’ve discovered some powerful principles for changing how things occur for us … and I’ll have to be honest … I still have more questions than answers.
In fact, I’ll show you today how you can begin to help me discover exactly what it takes to change how things occur for anyone including you … so that our work together can help thousands with these powerful new insights.
Before I do, I’d like to share with you how these insights have transformed my experience of life…
I noticed recently that I experienced being overwhelmed with things to do. No matter how much I did there was always more to do. There never seemed to be time to rest. That situation occurred for me as a problem.
And because I had started thinking about the phenomenon of occurring, I became aware how often I confused reality with “how reality was occurring for me.” Here’s an example: I had offered to help my daughter’s boyfriend eliminate some beliefs that were affecting his relationship with my daughter. We set up the session for Saturday afternoon. Just before it was time for our session I started to feel resentful that I had to work on Saturday. I didn’t feel like spending an hour right then helping someone eliminate some beliefs.
At that moment I realized that the way the session was occurring for me was the result of the meaning I was giving it, namely, I have to do something I really don’t want to do. I then gave the approaching session a different meaning. If my daughter called me and asked me to so something that would take me an hour, I would happily drop whatever I was doing and do anything in my power to give her whatever she needed. By spending an hour with her boyfriend (which she hadn’t asked me to do) I would be making a significant contribution to improving their relationship.
The thought of doing that was really exciting. I couldn’t wait to do the session. Same event, different meaning, And the occurring shifted from something I was dreading to something I was really excited about doing. The same circumstances were occurring to me differently. And not just intellectually by using “positive thinking,” where I tried to talk myself into accepting something I didn’t really believe (which is what positive thinking is). My session literally occurred for me differently and I felt totally different about it.
Here’s a good example of how the same person or event can occur differently for different people. My wife Shelly has a dad who just turned 90. Most of the family is upset around him when he’s telling people what to do and getting annoyed at almost anything they do. At those times he occurs to most of the family as a controlling, irritating, cranky person. He used to occur that way for me also. But after some practice, he now occurs to me as an aging man who is feeling powerless and needs to experience power in some way.
He says what he says (such as constantly telling me the speed limit or giving me detailed directions on how to get to a place I’ve driven to at least 100 times) and I respond, “Thanks dad. Okay.” Again, this is not positive thinking. I actually don’t get annoyed when he talks to me because how he occurs for me has changed.
By the way, notice in these two examples I was able to change the meaning I was giving a situation, thereby changing how it occurred for me, without having to eliminate any beliefs.
As you can see, being able to change how things occur for me has allowed me to change my experience of life and is dramatically changing how I live my life from moment-to-moment.
And I am convinced it can change yours.
Does your life often occur for you as filled with problems or opportunities?
Does your loved one often occur for you as stubborn or merely stuck and in need of help?
Does your job often occur for you as stressful or challenging?
The choice can be yours.
I’m currently refining my methods. And because I’m making new discoveries every day, I need a committed group of people who are willing to study this issue with me so I can test out each new idea. Anyone who joins that group will be helping me create a new life-changing technology.
What you’ll learn in The Occurring
Here’s What You Can Expect To Gain From Participating:
- Catch yourself whenever you forget that how things occur for you is NOT reality, it is only the result of the meaning you have given reality… and know exactly what steps to take to break free.
- Shift the meaning of “negative” events like being fired that normally cause anxiety and depression into empowering interpretations that energize and excite you.
- Transcend the limitations of your organization’s beliefs so you can excel despite a “negative” or “can’t do it” culture.
- Transform your relationship with “difficult” people so you not only stop feeling bad around these people but you may even find yourself enjoying them.
- Learn how to break through obstacles to creating the “occurring” that you want to create—I’ll be honest with you, changing your occurring can be difficult at times. But learning the techniques I’ve already developed and creating new ones in our study together will allow you to sail through these difficulties like a hot knife through butter.
- Live in the empowered state as the “Creator Of Your Life” whenever you want, because you’ll be able to create your experience of life minute by minute.
About Morty Lefkoe
Morty Lefkoe was the president and founder of The Lefkoe Institute until his death in 2015. He was the creator of a series of psychological processes (The Lefkoe Method) that result in profound personal and organizational change, quickly and permanently.
He wrote a book about the Lefkoe Belief Process (LBP), Re-create Your Life: Transforming Yourself and Your World (Andrews McMeel, 1997; trade paper version, DMI Publishing, 2003). The book explains how the LBP works, how it is significantly different from most forms of psychotherapy, its spiritual implications, and how its principles can be applied to parenting, health, business, and social change. It also includes several case histories involving clients who have successfully dealt with dysfunctional patterns. Morty has also written an essay that details research on the mind-body connection in sports and his work with athletes. You can get a pdf of the article by clicking here.
Morty has written over 100 articles and columns for many publications, including the Wall Street Journal and theNew York Times. He has appeared on over 100 radio and TV shows, including Today,Leeza, ABC World News Today, and Fox Cable News. His work has been written about extensively in the New York Times and a number of other publications.
A member of the American Counseling Association, Morty has written articles describing the Lefkoe Method for The California Therapist (Sept-Oct 2001, Vol. 13, Issue 5), The Group Therapist Perspective (Oct-Nov. 2001), and the California Psychologist (December, 2001).
He has spoken before such groups as the American Management Association, Vistage (formerly TEC), American Psychotherapy Association, American College of Counselors, American Association of Integrative medicine, National Wellness Coalition, Managed Health Care Congress (NE), Association for Fitness in Business, and American Psychological Association-National Institute for Occupational Safety & Health. Morty also has presented The Lefkoe Method to many other groups of psychotherapists, including in-service training at many mental health facilities. You can see video of one of his talks by clicking here.
He has conducted well over 200 seminars for groups of Chief Executive Officers on “A Proven Method for Successfully Instituting Change” and “Limiting Beliefs, Business and Personal: How to Identify and Eliminate Them.”
Morty received his B.A. from the University of Chicago, where he also attended the Graduate School of Business.
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